Multiple Losses

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Cut Off.”

The summer of 2014 was probably the beginning to what felt like one of the loneliest times in my life. This month, almost a full year ago, our Dad decided to tell us he was leaving. We lived an entire week more with him in the house after his startling statement. Then he was gone. He packed his stuff up and just left. A month later, I lose every single one of my friends. I went to a youth group and had another old friend from elementary, and we all went to camp that year and there was a bit of well drama because of teenagers and hormones. I don’t really want to get into the details of that – basically I lost my best friend and what I thought was a really cool guy friend. There were still a few weeks I was in communication with everyone, we all still texted as if everything was normal. I was a little upset with this best friend of mine, but we were okay. Somehow withing only a matter of a few weeks, that all vanished. No more best friend. No more “cool guy.” Even two of my very closest friends at the youth group, I lost them. I don’t really know how it happened, but it did. So no Dad. No friends. That same summer my mom and older sister were both in college too, so I didn’t really have anyone to talk to. All of us kids were still trying to cope with what had just happened with Dad. Strangely enough though, everything got better once he left. Sure, I was lonely. But things were better for awhile. I can’t really explain it, but the entire house felt lighter. It was easier to live for awhile. I don’t say this out of spite or any harshness in my heart towards him, but out of truth. Every single person in this house would agree with my statement. Of course, its probably wrong I think I’m better off without a father figure, but there’s plenty of heartache and trauma to make that match up. I had a tough life earlier on. But I was adopted by a very loving family; a loving family including that same Dad that left us a year ago. He was once a good man. He always did love us. He just got caught up in the world and chose to leave us for it. But he used to be a good man and maybe one day he’ll be that same man, or better. Hopefully better. Mainly for the sake of my 10 year-old brother who no longer has a man to look up to. Just a house full of girls. But I think we’re still teaching him pretty well. Would’ve been nice if he had a Dad around to do “guy stuff” though. The boy I still see as little for some reason will be 11 tomorrow. Time sure does fly.


Texting: Our New Best Friend and Worst Enemy

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “It’s a Text, Text, Text, Text World.”

Texting. Well, it has its positives: you can send a quick message to get information like an address or number that your mind may not be able to remember within the five second it was spoken. You can be discreet about something maybe you didn’t want someone else to hear, (you have to be super duper careful about that, of course – but I’m definitely not afraid to admit I’ve done it with a sister. Gets us out of a lot of awkward situations. Plus when you’re just unable to talk, texting makes communication still possible. On the downside…it has a good amount of negatives: I’ve noticed people don’t find my sarcasm quite as funny over a text, as they may have in person. Another HUGE thing; you can’t read emotions and that is probably the worst most awful thing ever. As an empathetic person, emotions and faces are what I need to read to know what to say and what not to say. There’s just something about texting that completely hinders that sense of realness, closeness to a person.

I’m gonna share a little insight from my life on texting. Texting is probably one of the most important things to me right now. Why you ask? I’m in a long-distance relationship and the miles suck; but texting makes it possible to talk to that person every day. I love texting for that reason. We get to send cute little good morning texts that I just adore – and the emojis, gah, I love the emojis! Of course I’ve noticed that over texting – because of the whole no face/no emotion thing – we tend to get upset over something that was meant to be meaningless, maybe a little tease or whatever, but we – no mainly I – I take it to heart. Such a fool for that, but it happens. Those are the moments I’m thankful for phone calls and Skype, especially Skype. Not to bring in a whole new form of electronic communication… only mentioning it for a second, I promise! But yeah, Skype is so helpful when it comes to seeing the persons face and getting a little more insight into their emotions, I feel like I’m closer to being there. Until it lags and we both look a little distorted over the webcam… but you get my drift. Anyway, back to texting, it can be a wonderful thing in many situations, and I’m thankful for it.

P.S. How do I communicate emotion and intent in a purely written medium? The emojis. The wonderful, amazing emojis. And of course, I put plenty of thought into the text so it sounds a little more like what I would’ve wanted to say in person.